How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Work and Stick
Did you know that up to 80% of us fail to keep our New Year’s resolutions by February?
Why most New Year’s Resolutions fail?
It’s helpful to have goals in life because goals help us set the direction for where to go. It is the first thing to do when we want to achieve anything.
However, there are a few problems with goals if we don’t know how to use them.
1. Firstly, aim for a S.M.A.R.T. goal
Specific — what exactly do we want to achieve, can we visualise that
Measurable — can we measure it?
Attainable — is it in our control or power to achieve it?
Realistic — is it realistic?
Timely — what timeframe are we giving ourselves to achieve it?
SMART goal is crucial in setting business objectives. However, when it comes to our personal goal, it might not be as beneficial as we’ll discuss later in this article.
2. The problem with goals like New Year’s Resolutions is that they’re mostly goal-oriented rather than process-oriented
For example,
Non-SMART goal: I want to lose weight
SMART goal: I want to lose 20 kg by April this year
With a personal goal like that, it can also be difficult to tell how attainable it is, because everyone is different. We’re in a different body and we all live in different circumstances. When we become too obsessed with achieving goals, too goal-oriented, so desperate to achieve it, we may try to do whatever we need to do to achieve it.
As a result, it hurts our ego when we didn’t achieve our goal. We often subconsciously attach our self-value to whether we achieve the goal or not, when sometimes accomplishing a goal also depends on things outside our control. As a result, we may end up beating ourselves up when we fail, and most of the time, we gain nothing by doing so.
3. Goal can be a moving target
The other problem with most New Year’s resolution is that it encourages short-term thinking. It encourages us to focus on achieving the goal instead of adopting the process for a lasting change. It also only gives us a year to achieve it, so if something happens that we need to change our priorities, does that count as failure?
And that’s why we shouldn’t become too attached to our goal. We should be able to move and prioritise them depending on where we are in life. And it’s not failing if we need to change our goal when we realise that we were on a wrong path.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Are you doing what you said you would do when you were asked this question in school?
Up to 60% of university graduates aren’t even working in the area they initially studied in.
Some even quit early and drop out of university to pursue what they thought was the right path for them as soon as they found that out. Bill Gates, for example, dropped out of Harvard to focus on Microsoft full-time.
So at some stage in life, we all change because we grow, the world is always changing. If we don’t adapt to the changing external environment, we will not thrive.
Instead, we should focus more on the process
Instead of just focusing on achieving the goal, we should learn to enjoy the process. We spend most of our life on the journey, not the destination.
We feel like we’re at the top of the world when we reach our goal, however, that peak feeling would only last for so long. The journey, however, is where we rise and fall. It’s where we push and demand more from ourselves. It’s where growth occurs.
For example, instead of focusing on losing a certain weight, we should also focus on enjoying the daily exercise and eating clean. The more we find joy in it, the easier it gets, the longer the change will last.
Focus more on building a habit
So instead of focusing on just achieving the goal by whatever means possible, we should find a sustainable way to do it for lasting result. And that can be done by developing a habit.
“Motivation is what get you started. Habit is what keeps you going”
— Jim Rohn.
There are many good books to read on how to build lasting habits. My top three are
- Atomic Habit by James Clear
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
In summary, they all will tell you why habits are powerful and how to make them easy to adopt or get rid of. There are many claims but I believe that it takes at least two months to adopt a new habit, for it to become easy and automatic.
Habit will form our new identity
“We are what we repeatedly do…”
— Aristotle.
When it comes to making lasting personal changes, we should focus more on changing our identity rather than ticking off our to goal list.
Instead of setting a goal to lose weight, set a goal to be an athlete or healthy person.
Instead of setting goals to read a certain number of books, learn to enjoy reading and read what you enjoy reading about rather than following the crowd.
Instead of setting an ambitious financial goal, set a goal to be a wealthy person who has less needs and ditch the poor mindset.
So that when it comes to making a good or bad decision, imagine what would your ideal self do?
We get a fresh start everyday
Luckily, when we already know our goals in life, whether it’d be for the next one or five years, we don’t need to wait until 1st January to start a new one. We can start now.
Every day, we’re on the journey to achieve our goals. We may rise and fall but luckily, we get a fresh start every day.
Everyone stumbles every now and then but that doesn’t mean that we should give up. Our character is judged by how quickly we pick ourselves back up.
So don’t just set New Year’s resolutions, let’s talk about life goals. Let’s make lasting changes. Let’s enjoy the process along the way and be grateful for every morning that we wake up, because everyday gives us a new beginning.
