Why Your Gratitude List Won’t Make You Happy
One of the common practices that some are now doing is listing down the three things that they’re grateful for every day. This is usually done in the morning to help set up the positive mood for the day.
There are many studies that have confirmed the benefits of a gratitude journal, and it is a good habit to practice. However, the problem with that is that we run out of things to list eventually. And when it happens, we become depressed again.
According to the Organisational Psychologist and best selling Author Adam Grant, research found that people who do so are less likely to be happy.
When we list down the things we are grateful for, we force our mind to really think about it. Subconsciously, we’re telling our mind that we aren’t aware of all the good things in life and that we’re not happy, so we ask our brain to think of something to help us find gratitude and happiness.
It becomes a counter-intuitive approach to find peace, as the more we seek, the more we lose. It beats the purpose of gratitude because being grateful is about being satisfied with what we have, where we are, and not seeking more.
Therefore, we shouldn’t treat gratitude like a to-do list, instead, it should be a mindset that we adopt.
A moment of gratitude can happen anytime during the day. It can happen when you are
- spending time with someone you care about
- working in a job that you’re lucky to have
- or living in a place that you’re lucky to be in.
So, we don’t have to keep thinking of new things to be grateful. We can simply just change our mindset.
Start asking the question ‘Could this have been worse’?
Instead of daydreaming about the things outside our control that we wish would happen, we visualise the worse, or worst, thing that could have happened.
For example,
- I’m sick of my family annoying me all the time > What if I don’t have a family and am all alone?
- I can’t afford to buy a house > At least I have a place to live in and am not homeless
- I’m so short > At least I have legs and a fully functional body
This is a well-known negative visualisation exercise from Stoicism and it helps us put our mind into a perspective, because we tend to take things for granted. The truth is we own nothing in this world, and that things can be taken away from us at any time.
The moment of ingratitude usually starts with a complaint. As soon as you become aware that you’re complaining about something, ask yourself whether this is actually the worst thing that could have happened. Could it be worse? and aren’t you glad that it isn’t?
Lastly, there is no key to happiness. The more we chase it, the more time we waste, the more we’re telling ourselves that we aren’t happy. Instead, contentment can always be found within, at any moment.
Give this article some claps if you agree and don’t forget to share it with those who owns a gratitude journal.
