3 Things I Have Given Up This Year For My Future Self
It is good to enjoy the present, at the same time, it’s better to plan for the future.
This realisation came from my discovery of the true purpose of the Japanese bento box.
The original bento box honors a Japanese eating philosophy called hara hachi bu, which says the goal of a meal is to be 80% full. That way you’re still hungry for tomorrow. By design, the bento ensures a balanced meal and balanced life.
It teaches us how to make a decision that serves both our present self and our future self.
The famous ‘Marshmallow experiment’ showed us the power of delay gratification. A group of young children were left in a room with a marshmallow, where they were told not to eat it until the researcher comes back. If they do eat it, they will not get the second marshmallow.
A few years later, the researchers went back to conduct a follow up to each child’s progress in various areas. The children who were willing to delay gratification, by not eating the marshmellow at first, ended up achieving more in life academically, physically and socially as they grew up.
Clearly, if we are willing to sacifrice short-term gain, the future reward will be worth it.
Here are the 3 things I have given up this year for my future self.
1. Having a low standard for myself
How many times have we decided to settle for less because we are afraid that we might not deserve what we truly want?
If Sylvester Stallone had settled for less and accepted $360,000 offer for the script that he wrote (when he had no car, $106 in the bank, and sold his dog to pay the bills), he wouldn’t have been in Rocky and caught a break in his acting career, earning a fortune.
Last year, I didn’t want to buy a car because I didn’t think I could afford it.
However, I changed my thinking.
I set up a vision board, where I put up all the pictures of the lifestyle that I want to achieve, and I tell myself that it is achievable within a year. And a car was in it.
I bought my car early on this year, paying in full with no debt. It hurt my bank account at that point but shortly after that, I made sure that I worked hard and smart enough to bounce back.
Therefore, I believe in myself that I can afford anything I put my mind into, and I won’t settle for less.
2. The fear of being alone
Fear is just an irrational thought. Nothing bad will actually happen when we are alone.
What’s more, when we seek out relationships, most of the time we tend to settle for less.
This has been a big challenge for people like me, who came to a different country without friends or family.
I used to always make plans to hang out whenever I’m not working. I said yes to every social opportunity.
I had a great time hanging out with people. Then, the next thing I know, time has gone passed, and I rarely have done anything that will actually gets me closer to my life goals.
When we hang out with people all the time, we get distracted by what others want or what the group wants, and we tend to ignore our own needs.
This year, I scheduled some time alone with myself whenever I can, and I never felt a stronger sense of purpose.
In fact, I was never alone because I have my goals alongside me. The goals that I’m obsessed to achieve.
It is human to be afraid to be alone and it takes strength to overcome that fear.
3. Relationships
People around us have a huge impact on what we want out of life.
You are an average of the five people you spend time with
Not only we have to stay away from toxic people, sometimes nice people can hold you back too.
This is a hard truth because there are people who really and truly care about you. And because of that, they don’t want you to leave them.
I have met many people who welcome me into their life with a big hug, and I’m really grateful for that.
But at the same time, I’ll have to ask myself if this person wants to go to where I want to go in life.
If they are not willing to choose the path that I’m pursuing, then I will have to choose to either lower my standard, change my goals and stay where they are with them.. or to keep my standard.
And I choose to stay true on my mission.
We were all given one life and I would really like to see what I can achieve with my potential. (I wouldn’t entirely cut themselves out of my life but I set a boundary while keeping in mind that I have goals to achieve.)
This might sound selfish for some people but it really is not.
The truth is no one owes anyone anything. We don’t deserve to just be a character of other people’s story when we can write our own.
Eyes on the prize
Enjoy the moment but don’t get distracted by short-term rewards.
Because if you don’t sacrifice now, your future self will pay the price.
I’m on a journey to become the best version of myself, would you like to come along?
