3 Reasons to Be Grateful for Life’s Obstacles
I was given an easy way out of my current obstacle. It is an obstacle that has been draining my energy and affecting my mental health.
“Good for you” said my friend.
“Is it though?” I responded.
Life is too short to be miserable. We need to look after our mental health. So they all said.
While I don’t disagree with the sayings above and am living according to them, but without the miseries, how can we appreciate the good moments? Without them, how can I learn to endure the pains and tackle the obstacles when the next one comes?
Fortunately, most of us nowadays were born with things given to us easily. We don’t need to learn how to hunt and survive. Although our survival instinct still lives within us, it’s diverted to unimaginable problems like worrying about what other people think of us, rather than being alert for what might jump out of a bush to kill us.
Thanks to our human brain and the work of our ancestors, systems and tools are created to make our life easier so we can advance further. But are we?
We can now choose an easy option and avoid any difficulties that could help us grow. Like an evolution of a wolf to a puppy, we become domesticated, living an easy life waiting to be fed and whining when outside things don’t go in our way.
It may sound harsh but I hope more people are aware of what comfort is doing to us. There’s a balance between working smart and ignoring an opportunity to help us grow. However, what you or other people do or choose in life is outside my control, so I have no right to make or wish someone to live according to my view.
What I could do, however, is to show some examples of choices that I’ve chosen and learned to believe, and hopefully, it will shape how you make yours.
1. Things didn’t happen to me, they happened for me
In life, there are things within and outside our control, and the Stoics believe that trying to fight things outside our control only causes us more pain and suffering, just like a dog trying to run away with a leash on its neck.
‘Fate’ lies outside our control. We can’t choose where we were born. We can’t make people behave the way we want them to. We can’t control external events that may happen during our daily life. But we can choose how we respond to and make the most of them because that’s within our control.
We are all on different journeys, that’s why sometimes it’s a waste of time to compare ourselves to others. What works for one doesn’t mean that it will work for others. What we can do, however, is to choose to make the most of the circumstances. That’s how we create a life that we truly want, on a path that’s set for us.
Obstacles can make or break us. When we are faced with obstacles and setbacks, we are presented with an opportunity to pick ourselves back up and grow. The harder the challenge, the rewarding it is when we overcome it on the other side. And it only takes a tiny step at a time, persistently.
So rather than feeling sorry and pity for ourselves, we should be grateful for whatever that has happened. A great story involves setbacks and challenges. Heroes do hit rock bottom but it doesn’t mean that they will stay there forever. They use it as an opportunity to push themselves to grow to overcome the challenge, and they will be stronger on the other side.
2. Comfort kills growth
Think about your pets or animals in the zoo that are well-taken care of. They’re provided with a safe shelter and meals fed daily. They don’t have to hunt. They don’t have to fight others for food and survival. They become ‘cute’ and a slave to their owners. They don’t need to learn skills or develop any muscle to be stronger because they’re already living in comfort. How would you like to live your life like that?
I have this plant in my house, Strelitzia Reginae (the bird of paradise), to be specific, which I put in a corner when I first got her. After a while, I moved her closer to the window where she would get more sunlight to accelerate her growth. One night, it got really windy outside that the wind blew a couple of her tallest branches down. Unlike her other friends outside, she hasn’t been exposed to a strong wind before. It was sad to see, and her branches weren’t going to pick themselves back up. They’ve been broken.
I could put her back where she was to protect her, but that would also hamper her growth, so I left her there. After a while, she decided to cut her fallen branches, turning them yellow, but she also grew a new one in the middle.
Sometime later, she has grown a few more branches in that spot and has been able to thrive and maintain her strength among the wind that she now experiences regularly. At the same time, thanks to the direct sunlight and nutrition that I regularly feed her, she has grown unstoppably taller.
We, too, are a part of nature, like the given two examples. Our body and mind are a gift of nature with unlimited potential. Their ability to grow and recover is limitless, if only we put them through the ‘wind’ that challenges us.
Comfort feels nice, but it kills our potential. If only I had put my plant back in the corner to protect her, she would have survived but also stayed small, denying her potential growth.
3. It’s good that it happens to me because I can endure it
Everyone has a different level of pain and stress tolerance. As shown above, the more they have experienced and overcome it, the stronger they will be to endure it.
Hopefully, after reading this article, you won’t shy away from challenges and difficulties in life. Hopefully, you’ve realised that they only present you with an opportunity to grow. Hopefully, you’re trained to tackle challenges with energy and enthusiasm. And you know that you can endure it, and you wouldn’t have passed them on for someone else to take otherwise.
You might not be aware of it but this act of courage is exactly what we need more than ever, to lead by an example and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
Let’s embrace the challenges and difficulties
Growing up, most people have been conditioned to seek the ‘happily-ever-after’ life. Religions sell us the dream of going to the ‘Happy Place’ with no suffering but happiness. But what would that do to us?
If we’re always happy, if things are always good, how would we distinguish the good and the bad moments? How would we train ourselves to endure the pain, to be ready when things go wrong? How would we grow and discover our potential?
Just like all things in nature, If we’re not growing, we’re dying.
So let’s embrace the challenges and discomfort today while we still can. Let’s get out of bed early in the morning with the energy to tackle the day rather than snuggling under the warm blanket. Let’s embrace that cold shower and let our bodies adjust to resist the discomfort. Just like all things in nature, our mind and body need constant push and resistance to keep them active and growing.
Let’s tackle the difficulties today, and see how far you could go.
