3 Life Lessons from a Comedian
I recently had an opportunity to attend a comedy show and also get up close with a group of comedians behind the stage after the show. There was this comedian with a big profile, whose name will remain hidden, who flew in from somewhere else for the show.
We were really fortunate to have a chat with him and get to know him a bit more. We had no idea that the conversation would change what we thought of him or any comedians (in a good way). Not only did he tell us about his own reflection of how he performs his craft, he also shared what he had learn from the other comedians.
Here are the three main reminders that I got from our conversation that are worth sharing.
1. The power of introvert
This comedian that we spoke to behind the stage was a completely different person to the other who was on the stage. He was truly humble, polite, not loud nor seemed like someone who makes fun of other people and everything else.
He revealed that most (good) comedians are like this. Their true self is more introverted and that’s because they need to spend time alone to think about materials, to help them get better at their craft.
If we don’t spend time alone occasionally, when else are we going to find a time to think deeply without being interrupted?
Human, or most of us anyway, are social animals so we feel the need to be in a group, otherwise we feel unsafe. We fear the external threats, which are now mostly psychological in this day an age, such as being perceived as weird or abandoned by groups.
In fact, it takes courage to stand alone and to be alone. There’s a saying, which is also supported by research, that you’re the average of five people you spend time with — that is because human influence each other. When we spend time with someone, our thinking and believes are influenced by theirs.
Psychologists have long discovered the concept of social conformity through multiple examples of experiment
- Participants changed their answer to the wrong one just to follow the crowd because if more people are choosing that option, it should be right (Ash conformity experiment)
- Participants turned the other way in the elevator to follow the majority
- As more people look up the sky, more people follow (Stanley Milgram)
And the more we spend time with others, the more we may lose touch of our true self, the less time we have, to listen to ourselves.
If you look up the internet, there are multiple sources and books written about the benefits of being an introvert and why they thrive (Presumably because the extroverts might be too busy spending time with others to write and publish something).
The introvert like to spend time alone, in their own world, exploring their interests, therefore, there are likely to create a meaningful piece of work that we all love. Take any popular fictional or non-fictional book or movies that we enjoy for example, the creators wouldn’t have been able to deliver their thoughts and visions to us if they hadn’t spend a lot of time alone to pull those ideas out of their brain.
What’s more, Introverts don’t like small talks and prefer deep and meaningful conversation when they talk, hence, as one himself, this comedian was able to share his perspective to us and show his true self.
So no matter what personality type you are, be sure to explore your introvert side because you may just learn about yourself more and discover something amazing inside you.
2. Grow by going with the flow
There are two types of comedians, according to our conversation, the one who prepares the script and stick to it, and the other who have a structure and go with the flow.
The first type, as name suggested, will just perform according to the script they have remembered. They may even ignore the audience and its reaction just so they don’t forget things and that the show flows smoothly according to their plan.
And the latter type has some idea in their mind, but still incorporates a little bit of ‘improvisation’ along the show — and it seems that this type is more likely to succeed and be liked by the audience. And this is the method that our comedian uses.
He mentioned that, by going with the flow, it allows him to interact with the audience to keep them engaged and also to test new jokes and come up with new materials, which the audience can either take it well or badly. Yet, it was the risk that he was willing to take. This allows him to set himself apart from the others and keep his fans and audience intrigued for what to come.
Imagine standing in a spotlight in front of a crowd and forgetting what to say, it can be daunting. It’s scary to step outside our comfort zone in an unknown territory, but if we don’t do it, we don’t grow.
Most things in life happen outside our control, so even if we have a plan, things can go wrong at any time. Although we can avoid things going wrong by simply staying in our comfort zone, we won’t be able to see the world outside and grow. And when we don’t grow, we are betraying ourselves from discovering our true potential.
So don’t be afraid if you don’t have a plan, as long as you put yourself out there and know where you are going and believe in yourself, you will find a way. And you will be so proud of yourself for taking the leap.
3. Don’t let anyone ruin your spark
When you go to a comedy show, there sometimes might be some drunk or rude audience in the crowd who thinks that they’re funnier than the comedian so they try to prove it by yelling or bullying.
New or young comedians might be intimidated by this, but experienced comedians will have had learned how to deal with it, in order for them to focus on continuing their great show.
In a society where people’s self-esteem and ego are fragile and exploited by the modern lifestyle and tools, some may push others down so they themselves feel superior.
Even if we have good intention, sometimes people’s ego are too big to understand that. Most comedians only ever want to spread the laughters and happiness to the world, yet there will be some people whom don’t get the joke and try to bring them down.
Take our famous example of Chris Rock and Will Smith. Humour can be subjective so some jokes may have crossed the line for other people, and that’s how Will Smith would have felt at that moment before going up and abusing Chris in front of others to show how dominant he is.
However, Chris handled it really well and did his part to make sure the evening isn’t ruined. No doubt that the incident would have affected his mental health somehow but he can’t let that hold him back from continuing being a great comedians that many other people love.
As a result, the public and media showed support to Chris Rock up for putting up with such incident and respect him even more. Some may agree that’s Chris went too far but it’s never an excuse for Will to lose his cool and abuse others.
In our daily life, we will come across rude and mean people who will try to bring us down and make us as miserable as they are.
- Don’t let them
- Don’t pass on the bullying and negativity to someone else
- Don’t fight fire with fire or you end up burning yourselves
- Don’t take it personally and you won’t be offended
- Understand the underlying motive and sympathise them.
Respect for all the Comedians
We all take life seriously from time to time which causes us pain and suffering. It takes skills and trainings to look at it differently and find humour in it, and sometimes we all could use a bit of that.
In the world where most businesses compete with each other for their customer’s attention, some news and issues are exaggerated to allow people to emotionally engage with the issues and drama — but it always does not have to be negative.
As well, not everything has to be funny, but we should all respect the comedians for making an effort to help us see the world differently. They do cross the line sometimes but we should know that they’re only doing that as a part of their practice to improve their craft, to bring more laughter to the world and make it a better place.
And we all should try it as well.
